The 5 Love Languages - My Take

My dad read The 5 Love Languages a few years ago and I vaguely remember it. Well my dad has befriended my best friend's boyfriend and dad passed on his copy of the book. I never personally read it, but after my best friend brought it up I plan on doing just that. How many times do we not understand how someone wants to be loved?

My Mewmaw loves for people to do things for her that help her out. We used to think she was nuts for saying, "If you really love me you would have cleaned my house." Come to find out that's how she loves the most is through Acts of Service. That is one of the 5 love languages that Gary Chapman writes about in his books.

My friend and I decided that we wanted to learn how to really love our men. We discussed that we would write down ways to help us connect and love our men the way they want us to love them. We are both avid planners and love making lists so this was great for us.

First off my results (I will go into the exact details of how to read my results from the online quiz) were slightly surprising but yet not so much. I wasn't sure if these were good results or not until I really read the description listed on the website. Realizing that receiving gifts as a love language was shocking to me but then I think if I was loving other people in my life I wouldn't love gifts but I have amazing people who get me.

So as for reading the results I am going to post the exact reading results along with the link to the description as well. I think it's important to understand what results you get when taking this quiz. I know I was grateful to learn what the results mean for me and my character.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

This I completely understand how it's my number one love language. I love written notes, letters, small notes, cards, etc. Encouragement really gets to me and not just from Vinny but from my other loved ones as well. It helped me see that I need to show the love that I want and give as well. My heart swells when I get compliments and sometimes bragging show that I am loved.

Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

I was almost in tears when I seen this was one of my results. I think that's why reading these results is so important. I felt like I was a person that expected gifts but instead it's more that I want a visual of love. I love that it's not a materialistic thing but rather more of the thought that counts. I felt so much better after realizing that I wasn't a, for lack of a better word, bitch expecting presents.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Quality time does hold something in my heart. Not just with Vin, no but with my family. I think it's why I love the dynamics in my family because we unplug and go outside and just have some fun. It's never a forced family night with my family. It's the gathering around talking about everything in our lives and being open. It's the times I will always remember.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Like I said at the beginning of the post I never knew that cleaning really could show love but thinking about it now as an adult I can see how it does. I can also see how laziness like not getting a job and helping with the burden of bills or not cleaning up can ruin a relationship as well. But this isn't a huge love language for me but I can understand as well.

Physical Touch
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

This one I knew I wouldn't score high in. I am not a touchy feel-y person at all. I prefer words and time together over time. I don't even like for people to touch me when they are praying over me. It makes me uncomfortable. I do love hugs though. Hugs are amazing.

Now something I was interested in since the +Jessica and I started talking was 'What would Vin's results be?' The idea was amazing to know how to love him. Knowing how to love him would strengthen our relationship even more. When I saw his results I squealed. Our relationship is perfect based on our results.

We have enough in common but we have differences even love languages. He would rather have us spending time together and not getting gifts but neither of us enjoy physical touch which made me smile even more.

Knowing his results really help me plan out what I can do for him to show him that I love him. Ideas have really been both easy and difficult to find so that I can show him how much he means to me. But I know he is willing to reciprocate the love in ways I will enjoy and admire as well.

1. Harry Potter - Everything! Pottermore duels, reading, discussing, learning. We both love this time spent together talking about what we think of the books and movies, etc.
2. Cooking - Being together in the kitchen is quite fun. We give taste tests.
3. Exercising together - We do this already as well. It's always nice to have each other while huffing and puffing up a steep hill.
4. Going for walks - I know he loves to do this but my OCD mind goes to the 100 other things I should/could be doing but I can make that sacrifice for him.
5. Make he gets as many letters as I do from him - Since he gave me over 500 letters that may take some time but I am willing.
6. Apple picking - Though we may also go pumpkin picking too!
7. Roller skating - Seriously it's been too long since I have done this... I am getting old.
8. Start a memory book together - Sure we love HP's story but how about our own?
9. Take a class together - Seriously why have we never thought of this before?!?
10. Fundraise for our charities together - Being in love and passing it on I think so!

These are the tip of the iceberg for the ways I plan on showing him. Each day I am really going to try and fill his needs for the love that Vin deserves in his life. He didn't propose to me because I am all concerned about me. No, he is marrying him because our loves is something that a true foundation is set upon.