The R Word

There is something that I am scared to death of so bad that I can be home and see it and I will scream and run out of the house while dialing someone on my cellphone to come kill it. I do not care if it is a living thing or not those things should not have made it on the ark with Noah! I mean like for real why do we have to have something on the planet that an atomic bomb cannot kill?

You got this girl is terrified of roaches. I don't care if it is an itty bitty baby roach it's dying-- it's mom can just cry big roach tears but she better not wail too loud or she is joining her precious baby in roach heaven. I have no remorse when it comes to those little armored bugs that just think I won't kill them.

 I think it's because I can hear them move and people around me can't is why it terrifies me so. Vin likes call me Roachster tongue (a Harry Potter pun on Parseltongue where Harry can talk to snakes.) Trust me like Harry I do not want this gift because it doesn't bode well with people. I literally can see one of those things and I lose every other thought in my head. I scream and run. The scene in Just Married with Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy where the roach is crawling on him and she is screaming trust me Vin would have to revive me because I would pass out.

Funny story,

Living in Eutaw, Alabama out in the sticks we are prone to wood roaches... So I was minding my own business in our redneck kitchen when this armored shell little 3 inch thinks it's going to take a stroll on our cabinet wall... Now since I was home alone I couldn't call anyone and cell service sucked back then so phoning was out so I did what any reasonable person would do in the moment of fear and an emergency... I grabbed my shot gun blew it's little armored body to smithereens. Trust me the holes are still in the wall and daddy found the bullet with the roach bits on it. He finds that story hilarious and keeps the holes for conversation starters.

In conclusion, if there is a roach near me I will scream and run. I can handle most spiders... but roaches are just out... No roach will live if I see it. Trust me I scratched every part of my body while writing this because I feel like stuff is crawling on me. And yet Vin thinks it is appropriate to make Roach Clusters from Harry Potter and have them in my kitchen. *Shudders*

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